Moar Rage!!

 I thought I would be able to move away from the topic of rage after my previous rant, but last night during a string of matches of League of Legends, something glorious occurred that I absolutely must share with you all. Before I do so, though, two things:

The moral of this story is... once again, chillax. It's a game, bro. Don't give yourself a hernia.

 Secondly, I played an amazing match as my main character, "Janna" and felt the need to share. =) Not dying is an incredible rarity. o_o

 Alright, to the rage. This time, it wasn't ragequitting. No, no. It was rage, period. I mean... hardcore, incoherent, so-ridiculous-that-you-can't-help-but-literally-"lol"-over-the-things-that-are-being-said rage. The perfect example and definition of people taking a video game way too seriously than they should.

The benefit of this is that I get to share it with you all for your amusement.

 Before I get to that, though, here's a bit of what happened. I was on a team, and everyone refused to pick a character who is a "tank". For those of you who don't know what a tank is, (why are you reading my blog, anyway?) it's a character who is meant for taking hits so the less-survivable damage-dealers aren't getting eaten alive. Personally, I am just horrible at tanking -- I prefer supportive roles. Well, I figured I might as well be a durable support character, and I picked "Taric". He has high health, healing abilities, and is notoriously homosexual -- and a support champion. He's not a tank. He's not a damage-dealer. He's SUPPORT.

 So, we get into the match, and our team is... well, a bunch of nitwits. They run in without thinking, never group up or communicate, and leave me alone to defend a turret against two characters. Mind you I'm a healer, so it wasn't an easy task. I'm so awesome, though, that I ended up at the end of the match with only 3 deaths and 13 assists.

 Anyhoo, as the match continued on hopelessly, members of the team began to bitch at me for "not tanking". I attempted to explain that I asked someone to pick a tank during champion select, and no one did, and I tried to explain that Taric is a support champion... but no. These guys insisted that Taric was a tank, and that I am the worst Taric player to ever grace the world of League of Legends. One of these guys is much, much more persistent about the badgering than the others, though. It didn't seem like English was his first language; it was a bit of a game for me to try to decipher the things he was saying.

 So, finally, we lose the match. When a match is complete, it puts all of the players of both teams into a chat room... where this guy ("Ezakauls", by the way) went berserk. I mean, like... he went CRAZY. Ballistic. Myself, two others from my team, and two from the enemy team sat and participated in the conversation that ensued, which I shall now share with you all.

I'm also taking the time to highlight the best parts so you can skim through at your convenience.
(Disclaimer: This chat log does contain potentially offensive language.)

Ezakauls: make return damga for tristana tanker noob
Ezakauls: go learn play
Anobrax: lol?
Anobrax: 6/6/8 heim
Anobrax: learn to play
Ezakauls: and
Taryn: Dude... chill.
Anobrax: don't pin this on me
Ezakauls: im not a killer
Taryn: It's a game.
Anobrax: I'm 5/6/15
Ezakauls: nt tanker
Ezakauls: bastar
Anobrax: and I saved people
Taryn: Just have fun with it. XD
Anobrax: you scrub
Taryn: Stop getting so butthurt.
Ezakauls: always score
Taryn: Chill!
Anobrax: half my deaths came from saving you
Anobrax: from dying
Ezakauls: stfu
Anobrax: fucking noob
Taryn: It's a game, it's for having fun.
Taryn: Calm down. XD
Taryn: Sheesh.
Anobrax: don't project your badness onto me
Anobrax: teenie
Anobrax: lawl
Ezakauls: fuck your mom
Ezakauls: noob tanker
Taryn: Eza, chill.
Anobrax: your dad
Anobrax: is sexier
Taryn: It's a video game.
Anobrax: scrub
Ezakauls: your mom
Ezakauls: and sister
Ezakauls: go fuck
Taryn: Is it really worth getting all pissy about? XD
Anobrax: I tanked fine, you fed trist
svenzzr: im so bed in game
Anobrax: lawl @ you
Taryn: I mean, really c.c
Ezakauls: say at your sister or your motehr com in my short and suck my dick
Anobrax: grow up loser
Taryn: You remind me of whiney girls in high school...
Ezakauls: go die
Taryn: Eza, please stop, or I will not hesitate to report you.
Ezakauls: noob shit
Anobrax: I don't like being randomly blamed for a loss
Ezakauls: go report
Ezakauls: bastar
Taryn: It wasn't your fault, Anobrax.
Anobrax: expecially from a nub shit who did nothing all game
Anobrax: I know it wasn't
Ezakauls: go report
Anobrax: that's the point
Ezakauls: noob
Anobrax: I don't report trash
Ezakauls: you dont know play
Anobrax: I ignore it
Taryn: They just had an amazing Tristana.
Anobrax: lawl
Anobrax: yea
Ezakauls: you lam tristana fed
Anobrax: that bitch could move
Ezakauls: make return damage
Anobrax: lolwut
Ezakauls: noob
Taryn: Eza, you do realize that insulting others serves absolutely no purpose other than making you look immature.
Anobrax: thornmail wouldn't of made me live retard
Ezakauls: and
Taryn: Right?
Anobrax: why didn't YOU make it?
Ezakauls: and ?
Taryn: The fact that you're still whining...
Anobrax: you just stood there most of the time
Anobrax: idiot

(Here's where he starts ranting at us in French, and our comments are what makes this golden!)

Ezakauls: j'en é rien a foutre de votre jeu de merde
Taryn: Bitching about a video game... XD
Anobrax: ^
Taryn: Get a hobby or something, sugar.
Ezakauls: bour ta race de mrde
Ezakauls: sal conar
Taryn: Maybe... go on a few dates?
Ezakauls: tu c mem pa jouer
Ezakauls: ti batar
Taryn: ... find yourself a nice girlfriend...
Ezakauls: enculer de ta race
Taryn: ... get you some action...
Taryn: ... make some babies...
Anobrax: I had 75% resist on physical and magic
Anobrax: pretty sure thornmail wouldn't of mattered at all
Ezakauls: mé oui c ça
Ezakauls: alé va te pété une bal
Ezakauls: sal tdp
Anobrax: lawl
Ezakauls: lawl ta mere
Taryn: I wonder if he realizes that bitching at us in a foreign language makes no sense, because we can't even be insulted by it
Ezakauls: pia
Taryn: if we don't understand it.
Ezakauls: pia
Anobrax: aye
Anobrax: I know a word or two
Ezakauls: tu compren rien
Ezakauls: domage
Anobrax: Ezakauls = puta
Anobrax: lol!
Ezakauls: you dont understand me
Ezakauls: ?
Ezakauls: loool
Anobrax: Learn english retard
Anobrax: O.o
Anobrax: o.O
Anobrax: O.o
Anobrax: o.O
Ezakauls: lear french
Taryn: This is amusing me greatly.
Ezakauls: retar
Taryn: I can't believe he's still here.
Taryn: What's a "retar"?
Ezakauls: learn french bastard
Anobrax: Learn english before french.
Taryn: Please explain.
Ezakauls: retard man
Anobrax: lol!
Taryn: I'm curious.
Anobrax: English speaking game.
Ezakauls: you believ english is a best
Taryn: You know... I was wondering why he'd be so irked...
Taryn: But then I realized
Taryn: Oh ... hey... he's French.
Ezakauls: frenchies fuck your women
Anobrax: lol
Ezakauls: bastard
Anobrax: the french get mad easy
Taryn: Um, I'm gay, I don't really want women...
Anobrax: cause french fries aint so popular no more
Ezakauls: fa te fair foutre
Anobrax: ~_^
Taryn: Omelette du fromage~
Ezakauls: you know just one language
Ezakauls: noob
Ezakauls: NOOB SHIT
Ezakauls: GO DIE
Anobrax: I know many languages.
Anobrax: lol@you
Ezakauls: SHIT
Ezakauls: GO DIE SHIIIT
Anobrax: anderscene = italian
Ezakauls: BASTARD
Taryn: This is so hilarious.
Anobrax: puta = spanish
Anobrax: sup
Anobrax: I speak more than you
Anobrax: Bitch = english
Ezakauls: BOUR TA MERE
Anobrax: that's 3
TheSkunkboy: naw, the french tend to run or just give up when there is a big battle or argument, im really really suprised he is still here
Anobrax: to your two
Anobrax: lol
Ezakauls: YOU KONW,
Anobrax: troo
Ezakauls: BOUR TA MERE
Taryn: Maybe he's wearing a beret.
Ezakauls: ?
Ezakauls: BOUR TON PRE
Ezakauls: SAL CONAR
Anobrax: He probably has a moustache
Taryn: and is smoking a cigarette at a cafè.
Anobrax: IRL
Ezakauls: D ANGLAIS DE MERDE
Ezakauls: VA CREVER
Anobrax: One of those old style evil guy ones
Taryn: I bet his name is Pierre.
Ezakauls: SAL TDP
Anobrax: Stroking his cat and stache at the same time.
TheSkunkboy: with one of those long pipe things i dunno what they are called
Anobrax: lol
Taryn: Oui oui monsieur~
Ezakauls: VA CREVER
Ezakauls: TU BOUR TA MERE?
Ezakauls: ooook
Anobrax: He just called me awesome.
Anobrax: Troo story.
Taryn: I think he did, yeah.
Taryn: I saw it.
Anobrax: yup
Ezakauls: he just suck my dick
Taryn: I love sucking dick.
Ezakauls: janna is good for sucks dick
Anobrax: lol!
Taryn: I sure am.
Ezakauls: good
Ezakauls: com suck my
Ezakauls: retard
Taryn: Your what?
Taryn: Your retard?
Ezakauls: you mom
Ezakauls: your mom
Taryn: I don't want to suck your retard, honey.
Taryn: I'll suck your dick, though.
svenzzr: suck me ?
Anobrax: Anyways, moving onto the next game.
Taryn: For 2.95 a minute.
Anobrax: Enjoy your fun with the 9 year old.
Anobrax: :p
Ezakauls: aret de bavé la cane
Ezakauls: t kune tite merde
Taryn: I can't believe he's still going. XD
Ezakauls: ki c mem pa ce ke c kke baisé é tu parl de sex
Ezakauls: sal pine
Ezakauls: l
Ezakauls: l
Ezakauls: j
Ezakauls: l
Ezakauls: k
Ezakauls: j
Ezakauls: h
Ezakauls: t
Ezakauls: i
Ezakauls: b
Ezakauls: a
Ezakauls: t
Ezakauls: a
Taryn: It was fun though. :D
Taryn: Oh, he finally left! :o

If anyone who understands French feels like translating, feel free to do so! Hah!
Hope I made your day a little brighter with this. Take it easy, ya'll.