Achievements

 Having no job and no source of income, you'd think I wouldn't have a problem just sitting back and playing through my massive collection of games that I've managed to accrue from over the years... right?

 Well, no. That's exactly what my problem is. I have so many games readily available to me that I'm having a seriously difficult time committing myself to one in particular. I was diligently playing Dragon Warrior VII, but now I find myself addicted to Super Street Fighter IV and the various Xbox LIVE arcade games that I've purchased thanks to close friends of mine. I need to come up with some sort of system to properly balance my game time, else I'll never make any progress. Yeesh... any suggestions?

 Speaking of Xbox LIVE games... I have a horrible, horrible weakness. I'm an achievement whore. Yes, I admit this freely... Woe is me, for I am not satisfied until I have absolutely every single one of those meaningless points attained by completing certain tasks.

 The dilemma? I'm not as great at games as I wish I were. These achievements are there to make us put in the extra time and effort to achieve them, naturally... but damn if they don't frustrate us to hell and back in the process. How in the hell I'm going to "complete every round of an arcade-mode game on medium difficulty or higher in less than 20 seconds" is completely beyond me, for starters.

Yet achievements... these... ridiculously difficult goals... they call to me. They beckon me. They taunt me...

 "Michael... Michael...," they chide. "If you cannot obtain us, you are not the gamer which you claim to be... You are nothing... NOTHING!!!!"

 Sigh... These achievements make me feel so awesome when I finally get them, but so absolutely crappy when they seem to be a distant dream. Why is it that we care so much about achievements? Is the feeling of gratification from obtaining them truly that rewarding? Is it really worth all of the stress and frustration in the attempts of achieving such goals?

Why... yes. Yes, it is.

 Screw you, Xbox. And Steam, too. For you both have taken advantage of my completionist, perfectionist, OCD nature and turned me into an obsessive, achievement-seeking machine.

Unfortunately for me... I still suck at games.

Ecksbawks!

 Alright, so I'm a bit behind on the current generation of gaming consoles, I'll admit. I've had a Wii for several years (mind you, it's been dead since a system update corrupted a boot file...), but that's it, as far as the "new" systems go. Hell, I've barely even played an Xbox 360 or PlayStation 3 -- very few of my friends have them.

 Since I grew up with games, I guess I'm attached to older stuff. I still do most of my gaming on the PlayStation 2, and of course, my PC through the Steam client. I own tons of consoles from my childhood and teenage years... two Super Nintendos (I'm not even too sure how I got the second one), a Nintendo 64, a Sega Dreamcast (I played the hell out of Phantasy Star Online, let me tell you...), a PS One, a Nintendo GameCube, and two PlayStation 2s... one is Japanese... and bright pink. Heh. That's not including my fat, chunky, original Game Boy, a Game Boy Advance, and my two Nintendo DSes. My collection is crap compared to more "hardcore" gamers, I'm sure, but eh... it's still something I'm proud of.

 Well, I've finally managed to get my paws on an Xbox 360, thanks to Brad. As a Marine, he doesn't have tons of time to game... and he has both a PlayStation 3 and a 360. Being the amazingly fantastic guy that he is, he allowed me to keep the 360 while he took the PS3. Unfortunately... the 360 red-ringed as soon as he gave it to me, and only now did it come back from being serviced. (Hah, double entendre, anyone?)

 So here I am, with a new console to play games on. Most of the games Brad let me have aren't games I'd ever play, but hey... why not expand my horizons a bit? This is gonna be quite fun, indeed. Of course, I'm not allowing myself to get wrapped up in another game until I manage to beat Dragon Warrior VII, which I'm about 3/4 of the way through. Now if I can just stop getting distracted by League of Legends and actually beat the damn thing...

Moar Rage!!

 I thought I would be able to move away from the topic of rage after my previous rant, but last night during a string of matches of League of Legends, something glorious occurred that I absolutely must share with you all. Before I do so, though, two things:

The moral of this story is... once again, chillax. It's a game, bro. Don't give yourself a hernia.

 Secondly, I played an amazing match as my main character, "Janna" and felt the need to share. =) Not dying is an incredible rarity. o_o

 Alright, to the rage. This time, it wasn't ragequitting. No, no. It was rage, period. I mean... hardcore, incoherent, so-ridiculous-that-you-can't-help-but-literally-"lol"-over-the-things-that-are-being-said rage. The perfect example and definition of people taking a video game way too seriously than they should.

The benefit of this is that I get to share it with you all for your amusement.

 Before I get to that, though, here's a bit of what happened. I was on a team, and everyone refused to pick a character who is a "tank". For those of you who don't know what a tank is, (why are you reading my blog, anyway?) it's a character who is meant for taking hits so the less-survivable damage-dealers aren't getting eaten alive. Personally, I am just horrible at tanking -- I prefer supportive roles. Well, I figured I might as well be a durable support character, and I picked "Taric". He has high health, healing abilities, and is notoriously homosexual -- and a support champion. He's not a tank. He's not a damage-dealer. He's SUPPORT.

 So, we get into the match, and our team is... well, a bunch of nitwits. They run in without thinking, never group up or communicate, and leave me alone to defend a turret against two characters. Mind you I'm a healer, so it wasn't an easy task. I'm so awesome, though, that I ended up at the end of the match with only 3 deaths and 13 assists.

 Anyhoo, as the match continued on hopelessly, members of the team began to bitch at me for "not tanking". I attempted to explain that I asked someone to pick a tank during champion select, and no one did, and I tried to explain that Taric is a support champion... but no. These guys insisted that Taric was a tank, and that I am the worst Taric player to ever grace the world of League of Legends. One of these guys is much, much more persistent about the badgering than the others, though. It didn't seem like English was his first language; it was a bit of a game for me to try to decipher the things he was saying.

 So, finally, we lose the match. When a match is complete, it puts all of the players of both teams into a chat room... where this guy ("Ezakauls", by the way) went berserk. I mean, like... he went CRAZY. Ballistic. Myself, two others from my team, and two from the enemy team sat and participated in the conversation that ensued, which I shall now share with you all.

I'm also taking the time to highlight the best parts so you can skim through at your convenience.
(Disclaimer: This chat log does contain potentially offensive language.)

Ezakauls: make return damga for tristana tanker noob
Ezakauls: go learn play
Anobrax: lol?
Anobrax: 6/6/8 heim
Anobrax: learn to play
Ezakauls: and
Taryn: Dude... chill.
Anobrax: don't pin this on me
Ezakauls: im not a killer
Taryn: It's a game.
Anobrax: I'm 5/6/15
Ezakauls: nt tanker
Ezakauls: bastar
Anobrax: and I saved people
Taryn: Just have fun with it. XD
Anobrax: you scrub
Taryn: Stop getting so butthurt.
Ezakauls: always score
Taryn: Chill!
Anobrax: half my deaths came from saving you
Anobrax: from dying
Ezakauls: stfu
Anobrax: fucking noob
Taryn: It's a game, it's for having fun.
Taryn: Calm down. XD
Taryn: Sheesh.
Anobrax: don't project your badness onto me
Anobrax: teenie
Anobrax: lawl
Ezakauls: fuck your mom
Ezakauls: noob tanker
Taryn: Eza, chill.
Anobrax: your dad
Anobrax: is sexier
Taryn: It's a video game.
Anobrax: scrub
Ezakauls: your mom
Ezakauls: and sister
Ezakauls: go fuck
Taryn: Is it really worth getting all pissy about? XD
Anobrax: I tanked fine, you fed trist
svenzzr: im so bed in game
Anobrax: lawl @ you
Taryn: I mean, really c.c
Ezakauls: say at your sister or your motehr com in my short and suck my dick
Anobrax: grow up loser
Taryn: You remind me of whiney girls in high school...
Ezakauls: go die
Taryn: Eza, please stop, or I will not hesitate to report you.
Ezakauls: noob shit
Anobrax: I don't like being randomly blamed for a loss
Ezakauls: go report
Ezakauls: bastar
Taryn: It wasn't your fault, Anobrax.
Anobrax: expecially from a nub shit who did nothing all game
Anobrax: I know it wasn't
Ezakauls: go report
Anobrax: that's the point
Ezakauls: noob
Anobrax: I don't report trash
Ezakauls: you dont know play
Anobrax: I ignore it
Taryn: They just had an amazing Tristana.
Anobrax: lawl
Anobrax: yea
Ezakauls: you lam tristana fed
Anobrax: that bitch could move
Ezakauls: make return damage
Anobrax: lolwut
Ezakauls: noob
Taryn: Eza, you do realize that insulting others serves absolutely no purpose other than making you look immature.
Anobrax: thornmail wouldn't of made me live retard
Ezakauls: and
Taryn: Right?
Anobrax: why didn't YOU make it?
Ezakauls: and ?
Taryn: The fact that you're still whining...
Anobrax: you just stood there most of the time
Anobrax: idiot

(Here's where he starts ranting at us in French, and our comments are what makes this golden!)

Ezakauls: j'en é rien a foutre de votre jeu de merde
Taryn: Bitching about a video game... XD
Anobrax: ^
Taryn: Get a hobby or something, sugar.
Ezakauls: bour ta race de mrde
Ezakauls: sal conar
Taryn: Maybe... go on a few dates?
Ezakauls: tu c mem pa jouer
Ezakauls: ti batar
Taryn: ... find yourself a nice girlfriend...
Ezakauls: enculer de ta race
Taryn: ... get you some action...
Taryn: ... make some babies...
Anobrax: I had 75% resist on physical and magic
Anobrax: pretty sure thornmail wouldn't of mattered at all
Ezakauls: mé oui c ça
Ezakauls: alé va te pété une bal
Ezakauls: sal tdp
Anobrax: lawl
Ezakauls: lawl ta mere
Taryn: I wonder if he realizes that bitching at us in a foreign language makes no sense, because we can't even be insulted by it
Ezakauls: pia
Taryn: if we don't understand it.
Ezakauls: pia
Anobrax: aye
Anobrax: I know a word or two
Ezakauls: tu compren rien
Ezakauls: domage
Anobrax: Ezakauls = puta
Anobrax: lol!
Ezakauls: you dont understand me
Ezakauls: ?
Ezakauls: loool
Anobrax: Learn english retard
Anobrax: O.o
Anobrax: o.O
Anobrax: O.o
Anobrax: o.O
Ezakauls: lear french
Taryn: This is amusing me greatly.
Ezakauls: retar
Taryn: I can't believe he's still here.
Taryn: What's a "retar"?
Ezakauls: learn french bastard
Anobrax: Learn english before french.
Taryn: Please explain.
Ezakauls: retard man
Anobrax: lol!
Taryn: I'm curious.
Anobrax: English speaking game.
Ezakauls: you believ english is a best
Taryn: You know... I was wondering why he'd be so irked...
Taryn: But then I realized
Taryn: Oh ... hey... he's French.
Ezakauls: frenchies fuck your women
Anobrax: lol
Ezakauls: bastard
Anobrax: the french get mad easy
Taryn: Um, I'm gay, I don't really want women...
Anobrax: cause french fries aint so popular no more
Ezakauls: fa te fair foutre
Anobrax: ~_^
Taryn: Omelette du fromage~
Ezakauls: you know just one language
Ezakauls: noob
Ezakauls: NOOB SHIT
Ezakauls: GO DIE
Anobrax: I know many languages.
Anobrax: lol@you
Ezakauls: SHIT
Ezakauls: GO DIE SHIIIT
Anobrax: anderscene = italian
Ezakauls: BASTARD
Taryn: This is so hilarious.
Anobrax: puta = spanish
Anobrax: sup
Anobrax: I speak more than you
Anobrax: Bitch = english
Ezakauls: BOUR TA MERE
Anobrax: that's 3
TheSkunkboy: naw, the french tend to run or just give up when there is a big battle or argument, im really really suprised he is still here
Anobrax: to your two
Anobrax: lol
Ezakauls: YOU KONW,
Anobrax: troo
Ezakauls: BOUR TA MERE
Taryn: Maybe he's wearing a beret.
Ezakauls: ?
Ezakauls: BOUR TON PRE
Ezakauls: SAL CONAR
Anobrax: He probably has a moustache
Taryn: and is smoking a cigarette at a cafè.
Anobrax: IRL
Ezakauls: D ANGLAIS DE MERDE
Ezakauls: VA CREVER
Anobrax: One of those old style evil guy ones
Taryn: I bet his name is Pierre.
Ezakauls: SAL TDP
Anobrax: Stroking his cat and stache at the same time.
TheSkunkboy: with one of those long pipe things i dunno what they are called
Anobrax: lol
Taryn: Oui oui monsieur~
Ezakauls: VA CREVER
Ezakauls: TU BOUR TA MERE?
Ezakauls: ooook
Anobrax: He just called me awesome.
Anobrax: Troo story.
Taryn: I think he did, yeah.
Taryn: I saw it.
Anobrax: yup
Ezakauls: he just suck my dick
Taryn: I love sucking dick.
Ezakauls: janna is good for sucks dick
Anobrax: lol!
Taryn: I sure am.
Ezakauls: good
Ezakauls: com suck my
Ezakauls: retard
Taryn: Your what?
Taryn: Your retard?
Ezakauls: you mom
Ezakauls: your mom
Taryn: I don't want to suck your retard, honey.
Taryn: I'll suck your dick, though.
svenzzr: suck me ?
Anobrax: Anyways, moving onto the next game.
Taryn: For 2.95 a minute.
Anobrax: Enjoy your fun with the 9 year old.
Anobrax: :p
Ezakauls: aret de bavé la cane
Ezakauls: t kune tite merde
Taryn: I can't believe he's still going. XD
Ezakauls: ki c mem pa ce ke c kke baisé é tu parl de sex
Ezakauls: sal pine
Ezakauls: l
Ezakauls: l
Ezakauls: j
Ezakauls: l
Ezakauls: k
Ezakauls: j
Ezakauls: h
Ezakauls: t
Ezakauls: i
Ezakauls: b
Ezakauls: a
Ezakauls: t
Ezakauls: a
Taryn: It was fun though. :D
Taryn: Oh, he finally left! :o

If anyone who understands French feels like translating, feel free to do so! Hah!
Hope I made your day a little brighter with this. Take it easy, ya'll.

Ragequitting

 Ah, ragequitting. For those of you who are familiar, it is the purposeful act of disconnecting and removing yourself from a current game, typically of the online multiplayer variety, because you're so frustrated you forget that you're playing a game for fun. This is usually a result of being incredibly agitated to the point where a player decides to just give the fuck up.

 Until I started playing League of Legends last year, I never really had exposure to ragequitting. I've always been more of an MMORPG sorta guy, and there isn't too much ragequitting in that sort of environment (or at least, not in the games I personally played). It both amuses me, and saddens me greatly, that gamers allow themselves to get so legitimately angry at the game that they turn into absolute jerkwads (given the fact that they weren't jerkwads, already, mind you).

 First, it begins with a simple comment, usually blaming someone else in the team for their own death. "You weren't doing so-and so!", or "Why didn't anyone help me?" -- It's always everyone else's fault for whatever caused their character's demise (mind you, I often am guilty of this initial step, but I tend to realize it before it gets out of hand). Soon thereafter, the trash-talking commences. This part always makes me giggle inside, because the person doing badly ends up being the one who is insulting the team who is doing well, which makes absolutely no sense to me. I can somewhat understand a bit of competitive-speak if you're kicking ass and taking names... but when you're the one doing horribly, you don't really have room to throw childish insults and whine (or as it's more often called in-game, QQ).

 Of course, this is a snowball effect. More often than not, this player's attitude causes them to make irrational decisions and play even worse, effecting both their team's morale and ability to work together, all the while the raging player is bitching and complaining about both teams, at this point, because he/she is the only person in the world who knows how to play the game, supposedly. If for some reason, the player still hasn't ditched their team by quitting, they probably will, soon.

 Even more intense is when the team happens to be voice chatting together, say, through the use of Ventrilo or another program like that. Some players go absolutely berserk, screaming and yelling and cussing and making an absolute ass of themselves to the rest of the team. My question... is it really worth it?

 What is the point of playing a game -- which is meant for entertainment and ultimately, fun -- if you're going to get legitimately upset over dying a few times? Yeah, there are always going to be players who are better than you. Yeah, it can be incredibly frustrating to lose. But letting it effect you in such a way that you get outraged and lash out on others because of it? I just don't understand. Nor do I understand why players quit a match just because losing is inevitable. You're still going to get a loss, as well as get a leave on your record. Grow up and be a big boy (or girl), now. Learn from your mistakes and work on being more of a team player. Stop placing the blame on others all of the time, and take responsibility for your actions. If you made a slip up, learn from it. If you think something a team member could've done to help avert the bad situation, tell them in an optimistic manner. Shooting down your teammates and causing their morale to plummet will do nothing for your teamwork, trust me.

 I say unto all of you, you self-righteous, big-headed ragequitters... chillax, yo. Just have fun with it. It's a game. Don't make it into something it isn't. If you're more relaxed and just laugh it off when you don't well, you're sure to be less of a nuisance to others and prevent a ton of unnecessary stress from eating you alive.

The Beginning

 Well, here it is. The start of a silly idea I had to make a gaming blog has finally come to be, albeit rather plain and simple, at the moment. I'll worry about cosmetics later, I suppose.

 Anyhoo, the idea is for me to blog about my gaming experiences and opinions, whether bitchy, insightful, or just plain pointless. It's also to encourage myself to fulfill the goal of completing a massive list of games I made as a resolution back in 2007. Yeah, yeah... that sounds rather ridiculous, I know. But hey, some people have a list of to-dos, a list of books to read, or movies to see. I have a list of games to beat. Geeks are cool, too... right?

 If you haven't already assumed, I play a lot of games. Board games, video games, card games... I love gaming. I love the interaction with others it brings; I love the way it allows us to drift off into a fantasy world and forget the horrors of cubical life or nagging relatives for a brief moment in time. Gaming plays a huge role in my life, and surprisingly, I have games to thank for the best friends I've made in my short lifetime.

 Unfortunately, games don't seem to love me back (especially when I find myself screaming at the television when playing Mega Man II, which seemed so much easier when I was six). In fact, most gamers don't, either.

 The video gaming world, much like the rest of it, is rather biased toward a certain demographic: the heterosexual. Not only do video games not have content appealing toward my particular sexual preference, gamers also tend to not be very welcome to those of us who are open about our sexuality. Often, we get compared to female gamers, who stereotypically are "less skilled" and "not as hardcore" at gaming than men are (which, from personal experience, is incredibly false. I've had my arm bludgeoned by a GameCube controller-wielding madwoman during a game of Mario Party. Seemed pretty hardcore to me), and get shunned and flamed from all directions. Getting called a fag in a match of League of Legends, for instance, prompts me to respond with "Why yes. Yes, I am.", leading to an onslaught of anti-gay slander. Lovely, huh? Now, I'm not saying that all gamers are like that, but... the vast majority, at least. For sure.

 Rant aside, gay nerds exist. We love techy stuff, we loves games, anime, and whatnot. And you know what? We're no lesser than the lot of ya! I'm here to prove that yeah, just because I love the color pink, worship Lady Gaga as if she were a goddess and believe Princess Peach should be the star of her own video game series, it doesn't mean I'm not a "real" gamer.

So yeah. It begins. I hope you all enjoy my gaming misadventures as much as I'll have fun ranting about them.